Turn and face the strange....

Change is painful.
"Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God" (Ps.55:19). My life is undergoing some extremely painful changes now because I am discovering the Lord. It's really the silliest little thing that is making my heart ache right now: people I am requesting to be friends with on Facebook are rejecting me. And the truth is, I'm not even sure if they've really rejected me or if my request didn't go through. But in my mind I am convinced that they have rejected me because they knew the person that I used to be, not the person that I am now becoming. Truth be told, this shouldn't make me sad. After all, I probably don't need to be friends with most of the people that were in my life. But there is some part of me, the part that wants to please everyone, that feels like if they could just really get to know the person I am now, the person that I am becoming then they would feel differently. So I have to take a deep calming breath and think to myself, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me" (Phillippians 4:13), which means that I can face rejection as well.
I went in to my pit all three ways that it is possible: I was pushed in, I slipped in, and I jumped in head first without looking. (Thanks again Beth Moore! Praise God that he gives you the words He does!) But I am climbing out and I feel my fingers scratching at the firm rock on which God wants me to place my life: His Word. I feel a passion for Christ and everything about living my life for Him now that I could have never previously felt. I feel Him pressing on my heart, my every thought, my every breath, and I just want to reach out to Him and have the best relationship possible. I wish everyone could feel this way. I wish I had felt this way earlier in life, but that was not the path He intended for me. I needed to see and be what my absolute worst was before He could let me see and be what my absolute best is.
This change in my life is still so new to me. I have claimed to know Christ before in my life, but really it is just now that I am learning all that He is and all that having Him in my life means. Psalms 51:10 states, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me." And that is what I truly want in my life. Not to have a thousand fake Facebook "friends", but to have one absolutely true and steadfast friend in God. He is the only one I need and although it is a huge change for me to feel that way, my burning passion assures me that I do.