Every time you close your eyes

Lies, lies!
It's a song by The Arcade Fire. I've had the note in my Bible forever. I don't know why I put it there, I'm not exactly sure when I put it there, but it's written in the very front of my Bible. Maybe it's because I knew I was lying. To myself, to others.
I just received an email from a former friend of mine and I had to pray and pray very hard. What she said, the things she wrote, were all truths. I know that more than anyone, except God. And I have told Him all about them, although I know that he already knew. But one thing she said keeps ringing in my head: Have some respect for yourself. I simply couldn't. I am still having trouble with it. I keep condemning myself. I have been listening to this series by Joyce Meyers about the mouth, about the things that we say. In it Meyers talks about condemnation. And I am condemning myself. It's devil's work on me. I couldn't help myself. After reading the email, I had to get down on my knees and pray. And I don't really do that. But I felt as though I needed to. I needed God in that moment. I need God in every moment, but no more so than I did then.
I was hurt and also a little angry. How quick are we to forget? How quick are we to judge? "Judge not, least ye be judged."
It was combination of things that led me to this pit, but I want out. I have been working on getting myself out. I felt myself slipping at that moment and I did not want to be back down in that pit. "This too shall pass."
Prayer is all I have at the moment. I think I'll stick with it.