Now THAT'S 4th of July!

I like mindless drivel. So here goes some. I have been trying to figure out what I wanted to be for years. Recently I figured out the answer to that. I want to be me. Who is that? You ask. I am someone who likes to laugh, no matter what. I am around about the most insanely happy person I know. I constantly smile. Smiling makes me happy. Practical jokes make me happy. The best thing that can happen is if I can hide around a corner and jump out and scare someone, even if it just my sister's cat. I laugh for ages just based on that stupid juvenile joke. And who cares? Because it makes me happy.
Today is the 4th of July and so I have just been doing what I want to do, not a care in the world. In fact, I spotted a Corona in the fridge earlier and, even though I hate Mexican piss water (as I call it), I think I'll have one just because I can. It's my freedom. Damn it, if all these other assholes in the world can walk around with their heads up their asses, certainly I can enjoy a smoky treat and a tasty beverage.
I like being happy and for too long now I have been very UNhappy. I'm always trying to please other people. But recently my other mom and my sister have really been getting on to me about looking out for number one. Because, let's face it, I've been kind of a doormat. My forehead ought to have a tattoo that reads "Please be neaty, wipe your feety". Or some shit like that. But no more.
Today, on America's 235th birthday, I declare my independence. Today I start looking out for number one. And if I piss people off, so be it. I'm a good person, damn it. I do charity work. I send shoes to kids in poor countries. I campaign for animal rights. Hell, I take stray kids under my wing all the time. So should I get good things out of life as well? Damn skippy I should. I don't think God is going to condemn me for liking to say "fuck". And if he does, well..... that's a whole different blog. :)
In closing, I would just like to quote Forrest Gump for probably the umpteenth million time in my life. As Lt. Dan would say, "Well, God damn bless America!"